What If I Die Alone?
A facilitation guide for bringing this conversation
into your community — no experience required.
A conversation most of us have never had out loud
What If I Die Alone? is a TEDx talk by Nikkia Gumbs (The Sun) that names one of the most unspoken fears in modern life — and backs it with data that will probably surprise you.
It moves from the personal to the structural: from "aloneness math" and the silence around dying without witness, to friendship as life infrastructure, chosen family, and what it looks like to stop waiting and start building.
This microsite gives facilitators everything they need to bring that conversation into their community. No facilitation experience required. No budget needed.
Recording coming soon
The talk. The data. The conversation that needs to happen.
Notify me when it's liveThree questions.
Your custom session plan.
Answer three questions and get a ready-to-run session — with the actual discussion questions included.
Step 1 of 3
What kind of group are you working with?
General Community
Friend groups, book clubs, neighborhood orgs, community gatherings
Workplace
ERGs, wellness programs, leadership retreats, team offsites
University / College
Student orgs, orientation, counseling programs, campus groups
Faith Community
Churches, mosques, synagogues, spiritual groups of any tradition
Men's Group
Any context — the talk addresses men directly with data
LGBTQ+ Community
The chosen family conversation has deep roots here
Older Adults (50+)
Retirement communities, senior programs, 50+ groups
Grief Support
Groups navigating loss — the talk has specific resonance here
Step 2 of 3
How much time do you have?
30–45 min
A focused single conversation. Entry and reflection questions with a closing.
Tiers 1 + 2
60–75 min
The full conversation arc — room for your group supplement and connection questions.
Tiers 1 + 2 + 3 + supplement
90+ min
The complete experience — all four tiers with room for optional add-ons.
All 4 tiers + add-ons
Step 3 of 3 — optional
Choose any add-ons that fit your group?
Grounding Exercise
A brief breathing or body-scan exercise before the watch. Read aloud — no training needed.
+5–10 min
Journal Page
Quiet writing time. Reproducible — print as many copies as needed.
+10–20 min
Partner Share
Pairs before opening to the full room. Good for groups that need a safer ramp in.
+10–15 min
"Text Them Now"
A structured 5-minute moment borrowed directly from the talk.
+5 min
Creative Response
Sketch or write your FriendFamily. Works best when the group energy is open.
+15–20 min
One conversation can become a community
Use this as a four-session arc. Each session builds on the last — and Session 4 brings your group to the virtual workshop together.
Session 1
Watch + Reflect
Watch the talk together. Entry and reflection questions. Let the fear be named out loud.
60–90 minSession 2
Connect + Map
Connection questions. Who is already in your web? Where are you waiting instead of building?
60 minSession 3
Act + Commit
Action questions. "Text Them Now." Accountability pairs. One thing — not someday, this week.
60 minSession 4
Build Together
Join the virtual workshop as a group. Build your life like a sundae — together.
CapstoneBuild Your Life
Like a Sundae
A free, live virtual workshop on Zoom. The talk opens the door — this workshop is where you walk through it. We'll build the sundae together: what stabilizes you, what fills your life, what enhances it.
Coming soon. Registration opens with the talk release.
#FriendFamily
When you and your group build your Golden Crew — post it. Tag it. Let the world see what chosen family actually looks like.
The chosen family model was built by queer and trans communities — especially Black and Latinx queer kin — who created homes and love structures when blood family closed the door. We honor that lineage. This movement is for everyone who ever needed it.